Chinuch Shakes Us to the Core
But let us go a little deeper into this sugya, for there is much that we need to take from this in a practical sense.
When we think about it, we spend many of our waking hours solving problems. Big problems, small problems, calls from home about one concern, calls from the business about another problem, a call from a child’s school... we’re constantly finding solutions to issues that come up in the course of life.
There is a proper way to solve problems, and there is a wrong way to go about it. The sugya of chinuch brings with it hundreds, if not thousands, of unique issues that affect a person in a very deep way, as no other aspect of our lives does. Even in business, when things are strained, there is usually the feeling that “things will work out....” But when it comes to chinuch, and we realize what it takes to raise children with Torah and yiras Shamayim, we are shaken to our core.
No Magic Pill
Imagine if there were pills for sale that automatically infuse yiras Shamayim into our children; 40 pills for 1500.... They would be sold out quickly! People would work overtime and do everything they could in order to be able to afford those pills.
But this is not the way Hashem has designed the world: There is no magic pill to make our children go on the right path, and we must ask ourselves why. Even the greatest tzaddikim have no direct button to press to make their children into yerei Shamayim. There is nothing that we can do to feel in control of the chinuch of our children, to let us believe that we are in charge of the situation.
The heart of an ehrliche Yid is always beating with a certain angst—until his last day—that his children should go בדרך הישר; there is no insurance for this.
We Are in the Hands of HaKadosh Baruch Hu
The answer to this burning question of why Hashem created the world this way is that the essence of being an ehrliche Yid is knowing that we are not in control—of anything in life. Not our success in Torah, not our success in Yiddishkeit. We know the ironclad rule: אלמלא הקב”ה עוזר לו אין יכול לו, if HaKadosh Baruch Hu does not assist a person, he could never be victorious over the yetzer hara (Kiddushin 30b). Everything is in the hands of Hashem.
So, what does Hashem expect of us? Hashem expects us to do our part, and we know that הבא ליטהר מסעיין אותו, one who comes to purify himself is assisted from Above. He will be helped—but not necessarily in the way that he envisioned. Perhaps in a month from now, perhaps in a year from now.... We need to begin, and HaKadosh Baruch Hu will help. Sometimes we invest in one child, and Hashem brings us results with another child. But we must always bear in mind that we’re not in control of the outcome.
The sugya of chinuch shakes the foundations of our sense of כחי ועוצם ידי, my strength and the power of my hands, because it teaches us that we’re not in control—a feeling that often causes us discomfort.
